A simple look or gesture can have many different meaning and it can be difficult to determine just what a person is trying to communicate through these actions. Particularly in the beginning stages of dating many of the physical signs acted out between two people can be misinterpreted, which can cause a great deal of frustration. Perhaps the only way to truly read a person’s physical behavior accurately is to get to know them; however, because our society often teaches many of the same forms of communication through body language, there are some gestures that many people have in common.
It is through these physical actions that many people, sometimes unknowingly, manipulate situations with their new found romantic interest. Through a series of gestures certain signals are sent and a proper reaction to those signals is expected. While some of these actions may prove to be completely harmless, merely a form of flirtation, others are intended to produce a specific reaction in another person and not always a pleasant one.
Understanding how the physical language works; its’ intended response and how you can choose to either react accordingly, or not; can be of great help when trying to keep a clear head when dating. As simple as it may seem, when a person is attracted to another, they are often manipulated by many kinds of signals that produce an outcome that the person may have never originally desired. Because of this kind of manipulation, both men and women often find themselves regretting certain actions taken during the course of a date and can at times be confused by their own behavior. To eliminate the control of such manipulation so that each action taken by you is your own choice, rather than a nearly automated response to another’s direction, can help you to maintain control of yourself and the direction in which the relationship you are entering into takes.
Though it may never be safe to assume that a certain physical action indicates a particular feeling, in many cases it can be helpful to at least keep the possibility in mind because so many of these actions are common. Because there are so many possibilities when forming the meaning, or intention behind a certain look or physical movement, it can be difficult to know when the intention is positive. This is the focus behind understanding the mental games played behind such actions; how to diagnose the difference between a person who is interested and one who is not.
Basic Unintentional Actions:
- Head Tilting: Many women tilt their heads to one side or the other when trying to appear endearing or flirtatious. It is often an action that is responded to positively and in a tender way as the action is often seen as a youthful one. Though there are many women who are well aware what kind of effect this action has on another person, it is often an action that is produced unintentionally. The common response to this action is to soften in tone of voice and feeling toward the person; in general feelings that are of an affectionate nature maybe stirred. Under the right circumstances there is no harm in being presented with this action; however a person should be aware that it may be used as a manipulative tool in certain situations. If, for example, a woman is trying to persuade another person into doing something that they are hesitant to do, the head tilt might be presented as coercion tactic. Depending upon the situation this action might also be used in attempt to calm another person; while this might be useful under the right circumstances it can also be a form of manipulation when a woman is trying to avoid taking responsibility for some negative prior action.
- Display: Standing; sitting or lying down the human body can look very different depending upon how the limbs are arranged and which parts are flush against other objects. Because when on the dating scene most women hope to present themselves in the most attractive manor possible, this physical action is quite common, though perhaps often unintentional. The important point to notice with this kind of action is that if you suspect that a woman is try to arrange her body in an appealing way, she is most likely attraction to someone within her line of sight. If you and the woman have made eye contact and continue to do so while this action takes place, it may very well be that this action is directed at you. While it is never safe to assume the secondary intention of such an action, the first is almost certainly this: the woman wants you to feel attracted to her. While there may be motives behind her desire to attract you the most common reason is that she finds you attractive; though not certain it is an excellent signal to have witnessed if you are looking for signs that an approach might be welcome.
- Hair Fiddling: More and more people have become aware over the years that when a woman fiddles; adjusts or tosses her hair it often means a great deal more than that she is simply trying to get it out of the way. Women’s hair styles and colors have for centuries been a large factor in attracting a person to her and for that reason many women tend to fiddle wit their hair when they hope to attract attention. An important thing to take note of is that this action may also be a sign of nervousness and a person cannot assume that it means anything more than that she is self conscious of appearing attractive, or at least presentable. Despite the fact that this action can have different meanings which so often the woman may not even be completely aware of one thing is almost certain: if the woman is concerned about her physical appearance there is a good chance that there is someone in her proximity that she hopes to impress, if that person is you, this maybe a signal that she would like to be approached. Even a nervous toss of the hair can mean that a woman is eager to make certain that her appearance is attractive, which often means she has spotted someone who she finds interesting.
Purposeful Manipulative Actions:
- Flashing Skin: Often women enjoy dressing up when heading out onto the dating scene and in many cases this may include a low cut top or blouse; leaning forward to expose more skin or allowing fabric to shift in such a way that it becomes more revealing is often read as a signal. The common goal of this is simply to get the attention of a particular person nearby that the woman may be interested in; however, in some cases this action is not directed at any one person and is simply done out of a necessity to get attention. While this action may prove to be a harmless flirtation there are certain cases where the flash is used simply as a tool of amusement and the intended reaction is merely to shock others and has no invitation attached to it. Because this act can indicate such a wide variety of feelings it is difficult to determine whether or not this means that a woman is actually attracted to anyone around, let alone you in particular. The habit of using this tactic also often indicates a strong possibility of neediness because it has the potential to grab more than one person’s attention and it should be noted that because of the wide net it casts, the lady in question may not be so particular about who’s attention she gets, so long as someone is directing it at her. By direct contrast, the subtle flashing of skin, especially when eye contact is made, can mean that woman is very much interested in pursuing a physical relationship. Though it can be difficult to determine the exact intentions of these actions a good rule to follow is simply: flashing the room-wild and not necessarily interested in you (or anyone); flashing you and making eye contact-more than likely interested in getting to know you better.
- Clothing: Women spend a great deal of time making sure that they choose the right cloths and accessories to wear when dating; many of those choices reflect a great deal more than they might be aware of, but certainly much of the reaction they hoped to achieve from those who see them is planned. A tricky action to follow is determining what a woman’s cloths say about what she is feeling because there are so many styles and mind sets behind them. While a short skit does not ever necessarily mean that a woman is on the prowl for physical action, nor does a longer one guarantee that a woman isn’t interested some basic choices and actions in those choices can be commonly read. Color, for example is an excellent indication of mood, or at the very least the mood the woman was in when she dressed. Bright and vibrant colors can often be expected to be worn by woman who are feeling happy, assertive and want to be noticed. White is often a clean, perhaps tranquil and even a little reserved color; this is often true of many of the lighter beige colors as well. Muted and baggy clothes tend to be worn by women who are feeling a little down or insecure and do not wish to draw to much attention. Dark colors and black (or dark gray,) often are worn when a woman is feeling particularly sexy. Though not a sure fire way to tell whether or not a woman is interested in your approach, colors can be an excellent way to sweep a room and make a guess at what message a woman is trying to send out.
Some of the choices made in clothing styles are fairly obvious; such as tight fitting or skimpy clothing indicating that a woman wants to be looked at; but some of the choices made are far more intricate than one might imagine. One example of this planned physical movement might be a loose necked top or sweater that has a tenancy to fall off of the shoulder. Make no mistake, when that shirt slides casually from her collar bone to her arm this is often planned. It allows the woman to appear as if she is not trying to be sexy, while still showing a little skin and thus attracting another person. Another common example of this kind of action is when a woman wears a short skirt and purposefully bends herself in such a way that she will be showing off to anyone behind her. This is a very pointed action and is usually a good way to tell whether or not she is trying to attract attention. Though there is a possibility that the woman did drop something that needed to be picked up, a person can often tell whether or not the woman means it to be sexy, or not, by the way in which bends down: if the action is more of a squat than a bend it is highly likely that it is not meant to attraction attention, however is she bends her legs as little as possible there is a strong possibility that she is trying to draw attention to her physical form.
If a person is careful to observe just a few of the many physical signs that women give off, whether intentional or otherwise, the process of approaching and getting to know a woman can often be accomplished with much greater success. Though it may take patience and practice to learn; having a better understanding of the actions women take when in a social environment can help to avoid the general pitfalls that make dating a stressful game.
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