Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Real Cost of Free Online Dating

While many people still debate about which online dating sites are the best, in terms of successful matches, there is little doubt that the world of dating has a new frontier. When starting out in the online dating world, many people tend to shy away from the costs; some see a fee for online dating as direct sign that they have somehow failed in the dating world and must now pay in order to find a match. This idea could not be further from the truth for the majority of users. Online dating presents the public with a more thorough; time efficient and broader field of dating; for these reasons and many others, online dating has become increasingly popular over the last few years.

When you pay a fee to an online dating service you are not paying for the service to provide you with a date, you are simply paying for their expertise in matching you with those who you would be likely to make a match with. This process will eliminate hundreds, if not thousands, of people with whom you would not be likely to find desirable at some point and for that reason alone saves you years of wasted time. Many of the services also provide you with a way of connecting with others that you would have otherwise been unlikely to have met. By making use of such a service you are in fact increasing your chances for finding just the right person to fit your needs and desires; this is the core appeal for online dating. To provide the service of analyzing your wants and removing from your list those who would terribly clash with your personality, takes time and for this time you pay a fee. To believe that this somehow indicates that you are unable to find a date is as ridiculous as supposing that because you live in a mountainous environment, you should never enjoy a banana.; the general idea being that while you may have been looking for the right person for some time, that person may have been, before online dating, just out of your reach.

While at a glance the idea of making use of internet dating, without having to pay a fee is enticing, the long term result can ruin the entire experience. Many people would argue that they simply need a way of connecting and that the services provided by the pay dating services are unnecessary; a mere glance of the success rates or free sites verses pay will allow you to see what a difference those services can make. When it comes to relationships, many people feel a little lost at times; when it comes to dating that feeling can be even more overwhelming because many people tend to feel alone. Making good use of the communities and services provided by pay online dating sites can make all the difference in helping you to know yourself well enough to recognize a real match when you see it.

Another important issue to consider would be the type of people you are more likely to find on free sites versus pay; though it may not be every person that you meet, you are far more likely to meet people who not be the ones you hoped to find. Some of the most common complaints amongst free online dating service users are that they run into individuals who:

  • Create false identities for their own entertainment which could easily mislead you and waste your time
  • Have little or no interest in taking the process seriously and therefore are unwilling to pay
  • Have been rejected by a pay service because they may have less desirable traits
  • Lied about their true age and cannot access pay sites because they are not old enough to have a credit card.
  • Lack the commitment to put any real effort into the process
  • Have not been matched with you using the kind of techniques that might be most beneficial to you.
  • Could be using the free system in an attempt to solicit money from you

Simply searching the web will allow you to read about those individuals who have been personally victimized through experiences like these. Because the free online dating sites almost never take any precautions to protect you from deceptions these kinds of incidences happen frequently to the users of free sites.

Another large and unfortunately common enough problem with free online dating sites is that many of them sell their user’s information, often email addresses, to other companies; this results in the massive spamming of mail boxes and the unwanted contact from hundreds of different advertisers. Dating services that require a payment may ask your permission to use your story as an example, or ask you if you would like to receive offers from other companies, but without your permission they general keep all of your information private. The result of this difference is that either way you pay for your online dating service; one way benefits you enormously, while the other is being done behind your back and without your permission.

In the end, only you can decide what you are willing to spend in both time and money on your online dating activities; be prepared by doing research and reading online dating reviews so that you understand what exactly you are signing up for. Gaining access to forums about how the general public feels about certain sites is an excellent way to discover whether or not a site may prove to be more trouble than it is worth. While you may not initially like the idea of paying, remember that for your money you are getting a great deal:

  • Generally a higher quality of members
  • Expert advice and match systems
  • Privacy protection
  • Screening of users to protect against fraud
  • Quality customer service
  • High chance for success in making a match
  • Often a better quality of site from communication to basic user interface

Before signing on with a free online dating site, remember, you often get what you pay for and with many of those free-bees you pay for it with your time by entering into a disappointing and frustrating situation chalked full of potential hazards.

To learn more about free online dating please check out the best online dating websites reviewed by VillageMatchMaker.com

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Are You Attracted to the Wrong Kind of Person?

Dating can be a complicated and frustrating experience and most people wonder whether or not it’s worth the trouble at least once in their lifetime. While dating poses a great many difficulties to overcome one of the worst is constantly finding that you attracted to people who you know will not make you happy. Many people unintentionally seek out others who mesh very poorly with them and continue this behavior through failed relationship after failed relationship. Friends or relatives who try to intervene do not often help the situation; though their insight should be taken into account, it is often ignored. For the most part, people who suffer from this problem understand that they do, in fact, have a problem, but why they continue this destructive behavior is not so easily understood.

Possible Problems: There can be many reason for a person to seek out those that they know will end up hurting them or causing them to feel unhappy. Some of the most common tend to stem from their introduction into dating or the way in which they were treated by those closest to them as children:

  • Lack of Affection: Ranging from those children who were ignored to those in more severe cases or were physically abused the lack of affection as child can have an enormous impact on a person’s future relationships. Many people who were denied the comfort of both physical and mental forms of affection as children have great difficulty interpreting their own feelings about it later on. Often people who suffer this kind of problem will have difficulties with being touched; experiencing a great deal of insecurity and need constant reassuring from their partner’s while at the same time having difficulty opening up.

  • Abuse: There are many forms of abuse that child can experience and all can have a devastating effect on the way they perceive those in their lives. Many of the people who experience abuse will have great difficulty trusting; emotional problems and a wide range of other mental issues that they might not even be aware of. Some of the people that experience abuse as children will unknowingly seek to repeat the pattern by entering into a relationship with someone who continues this abuse. In many cases the insecurity and pain of the person with this kind problem can be so great that they actually believe that they deserve more abuse.

  • Stereotype: In some cases people will chase the idea of what they believe is the right kind of person simply because they are under the impression that it is the type others would want. While they might personally not share the same taste, their need to be accepted by others is so strong that they will ignore their own feelings in favor of getting that approval.

  • Bad Prior Relationship: While some people begin dating with these kinds of issues, others are perfectly fine until they encounter a person who deeply hurts them. After enduring such pain many people tend to become very emotional which can cause problems in the future. Often people blame themselves for the failed relationship and enter into a pattern of behavior that is highly destructive to their life. While seeking to repair the damage through another person they will often become more confused about who they are and what they want in their desperation not to allow another failed relationship.

Though it can be difficult, understanding why you behave the way in which you do is a wonderful first step. Many people have unique lives that through a series of circumstances lead them toward this kind of behavior; it can be helpful to back track to when you first believe you began acting this way and try to figure out what led you to it.

Possible Solutions:

Changing a pattern of behavior, especially one that has been going on for some time, is no easy task. It often requires a great deal of self-analysis and advice from others who you trust. With time, help and patience many people can completely rid themselves of such destructive tendencies and can enjoy happy, healthy relationships:

  • Break the Pattern: Certain social places are known for attracting specific types of people; if these types have been a poor choice for your relationships it might be time to find a new place to socialize. Often certain memories that you will naturally think about while in such places will also help to trigger some of the negative thoughts that lead you to repeating your mistakes. Start fresh with a new place where you can begin making new memories. Continuing to spend time with friends who encourage this behavior may also be a mistake, at least until you feel that you are strong enough to ignore their influence. Try to keep friends close that will help you through your problem.

  • Get to Know Yourself: This might prove difficult for a great many people who are suffering from insecurity and believe their likes and dislikes to be unimportant. Again, the aid of good friends is an invaluable tool, but if you find yourself without help this might prove a good time to make new friendships. Because you will most likely be avoiding any friends who you believe are not helpful in this situation, you may be forced to explore alternative methods of making friends. Many communities host activities that you may want to try and online friend-finding services can easily match you with other who might be able to lend a hand with advice or just someone to talk to. Once you feel a little better about who you are and know what you do and don’t like about yourself, you may feel better prepared to enter into a relationship.

  • Understanding Your Needs: Making the decision to enter into a relationship with another person can be a big one; entering into it without understanding what you want in a companion is not always the best way to achieve success. Most confidant people know that in order to be happy in a relationship, or dating, the people that they choose to be with must meet some of their criteria. This is not to say that you should have a rigid list of demands that potential suitors have to meet; simply know what qualities you hope to find in another person. If you enter into a relationship not knowing what you desire from the other person your needs might never be addressed as neither you nor your partner understand them. Taking the time to think about what qualities you find most attractive in an ideal partner may prove very useful in sending up red flags the next time you’re headed down that road to self destructive dating.
Independence: While you try to work out your personal problems, hopefully with the help of those who love you, remember that sometimes a little space and time is needed before jumping back in. Be sure that you are free of any past relationships that may prove to be harmful to you and make a space for yourself that feels safe and positive. If you can achieve a healthy and positive state of mind you will more than likely realize that romance, while being a wonderful thing, is not something to that you need in order to be happy. Focusing on what will make you feel good about your life often leads to meeting people who have a positive influence on it. Take the time you need to change the course of your life so that if you do meet someone special you can proceed without fear or insecurity and instead make your way towards something that you can be proud of.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Thanksgiving and Family

  For many people Thanksgiving is a time when, though they want to be grateful for all that they have, often they are treated to hectic family scheduling and a lot of extra work. Dealing with your own family can be a great burden at times; dealing with your in-laws can sometimes be worse. How can a person go through this experience without feeling tired out and miserable? With a few simple steps this Holiday can be transformed from frustrating to fabulous so long as both you and your partner are on board.

  Before you begin planning meals; cleaning or inviting guests sit down with your partner and discuss the feelings you have in regards to all that will take place before; after and during the Holiday. Be sure to allow your partner time to express their own feelings on the subject as they might be feeling just as worried as you are. Once you have both shared your feelings on the subject try to form a plan that you are both comfortable with. This includes deciding on the guest list; divvying up the work to be done and planning a time table. Make sure that you don’t feel as if all the work is being forced upon only one person, or that person is bound to feel resentful later on. Even in households where one partner generally does most, or all, of the cooking and cleaning; in a situation where it is important that everyone involved feel comfortable, both partners should be involved in the preparation.

  Stay Calm: Once you have discussed and made decisions about how t prepare it is important to remember that the day is supposed to be a good one and not allow yourself to exaggerate little problems that might arise. Try to keep calm and have fun with what you are accomplishing; even the most mundane task can be entertaining if both you and your partner are trying to stay in good spirits.

  Food: When it comes to food preparation, a great deal will have to be done on the actual Holiday, however, preparing anything that you are able to on the previous day may help a great deal with your stress level. Be sure to give yourself plenty of time and double check recipes to be sure you clearly understand the instructions as well as having all the ingredients handy. For first time, newer or unskilled cooks, you may want to try preparing a few of the dishes before the Holiday to make sure you have it down. Often relatives ask if they can bring food items and if you know that a particular dish will be difficult to prepare or coordinate, ask if they might be willing to supply it. In many cases family members are happy to help with a single dish as it makes them feel useful, but does not require the work of preparing many dishes. If you are not a skilled chef, don’t feel compelled to make everything from scratch; make use of ready-made ingredients and if necessary by something that is already prepared. Most people will not hold it against you if you’re not a world class chef; it is more important to know and accept your limitations and in many cases ready-made goods are quite delicious in today’s markets.

  Cleaning: Though you may need a few touch ups on the Holiday, before the guests arrive, most of the major cleaning can be done 1-2 days in advance. Be sure to begin the day with a clean kitchen as this will help to keep your spirits high when you begin cooking. Take care of any laundry or table setting that you can the night before so that you will not have to add this to your list of to-dos. Remember that in order to make the meal special, little details such as candles; linens; properly cleaned flatware and a festive tablecloth are often of key importance. Most of these items can be dealt with on the previous day. Cleaning your guest bathroom on the previous day is also a good idea as long as you can avoid using it until after the guests arrive; it can also be handy to have something scented, e.g.: potpourri, oils or air fresheners in the bathroom as it may see a great deal of traffic throughout the afternoon and evening.

  Mood: Before the guests arrive, when you are busy at work, remember that mood can affect not only how quickly and well a task can be accomplished, but can help to keep you and your partner to enjoy the day despite all the work involved. A great way to help this along is to take just a few minutes together, before you begin the day’s work, to relax. Having an energy-smart breakfast, so that you will not feel hungry or dizzy while working, is a good way to share this time. Music can also greatly affect mood; keep this in mind when making any selections to play while you work and be sure that you choose pieces that are upbeat and well liked by both you and your partner. If something goes wrong in the preparation, remember to keep your sense of humor; often the little disasters that so upset people are far worse in their minds than any of the guests. In most cases, if a dish is ruined your partner and family will understand, don’t let it ruin your day.

  Time: When setting up a time for guests to arrive be sure that you will have some leeway with the cooking so that you greet family members, even if only for a quick hello. If you do not want anyone in the kitchen while you prepare it might be a good idea to have your partner entertain and keep the guests away from the kitchen. Before hand you should try to time all of the preparation so that every dish is ready at about the same time. Cleaning as you go, if time allows, is a wonderful way to keep post cleanup to a minimum. Keeping of clear of any dessert dishes that will require you to go back into the kitchen for a good deal of time may prove to be stressful; instead ready your desserts beforehand so that all that is required is serving the dishes to your guests.

   Entertaining: Many people find that with all of the work they are doing it becomes difficult to interact with their guests. This can often cause the person doing all of the work to feel a combination of frustration and guilt. Remember that most families expect you to be busy as many of them have experienced the same situation and try not to allow yourself to feel unnecessarily upset. If you have prepared everything that you are able to before the event, you should have plenty of time to spend with your guests both during and after the meal.

  Dealing with Family: While many couples enjoy having family over and indeed look forward to spending time with them, many other couples sincerely dread those days on which they are forced to spend time with their relatives. If you are one of the latter group, it can be very difficult to juggle all of the work the day requires while maintaining a rather mechanical smile and false good nature. The best solution, of at the very least helpful way of coping with the situation, is to discuss your feelings about family with your partner. Though the subject of unpleasant relatives maybe a touchy one, it is often better to be honest and understanding with your partner before the day arrives so that you are both able to laugh about the situation. Keep in mind that most people have a family member that they do not especially care for, but that in the spirit of the Holiday it is kind to share your thanks with others; if that isn’t enough, try to remember that it is only one day and that you will more than likely not have to be around these people for very long.


It’s Over: Many people end up with far too many leftovers and end up having to throw food away; an excellent way to deal with this problem is to buy some extra Tupperware and send family members away with remaining food. If you were able to clean as you went during the clean up the kitchen shouldn’t be in bad shape; it often helps to soak a great many of the larger pots and pans and deal with them in the morning. Once all of the guests have departed and you feel comfortable with the state of your kitchen again, take some time to relax with your partner and review the day. Allow for some time to give your own private thanks together for such a feast and for all that you have in your lives and for some: that at least it is finally over.

 To learn more about thanksgiving and family please check out the best online dating websites reviewed by VillageMatchMaker.com

Sunday, November 16, 2008

First Date Jitters - How to Prepare For Your First Date

Millions of people go on first dates every day and for the most part, each and every one of them experiences some sort of nervous feelings before taking that step out of the front door. Getting to know a person that you find romantically interesting can be quite nerve-racking for many reasons; what to say, how to act and what to wear are often the foremost questions in a person’s mind. The final result of this personal interrogation is often the basic idea that the person feels that they are not good enough to impress their date. While confidence plays an enormous part in preparing for your first date, even those with the healthiest of personal feelings often experience a few jitters. Following a few simple steps before meeting up with that potentially romantic figure may just help you to have a wonderful, successful and comfortable first date:

How Did You Meet: As there are many ways two people can meet prior to going out on an official date there can be many details which should be reviewed about how the date was set up In the first place:


  • Blind Date: Often this kind of date is set up through a friend and therein lies your method of finding information. Asking a few simple questions about the person you are going to meet, (above and beyond the standard inquiries,) can be of great help to you later on. Find out about what topics will be of great interest to your date and yourself; favorite foods, colors and music can all be of great help in choosing anything from flowers to restaurant. Knowing ahead of time if there are any particularly touchy subjects that you should stay away from until you better know each other can also help a great deal in making the date a successful one.

  • Online Dating: Much a like a blind date, when meeting for the first time, in real life, it is often helpful to know a few details about your date. Making use of online dating sites differs from more traditional methods of dating in that you often already know a great deal about each other and, in many cases, already feel close enough to one another that many of the awkward feelings have already melted away. Knowing about the person you are about to meet may not alleviate all fears however and you may still find that you have a few reservations about the date. Often it helps to share your concerns with your date, as you have already been communicating online for some time and will both be experiencing many of the same feelings.

  • Unknown History: For those who have set up a date from methods such as: obtaining a phone number at a social gathering, or simply asked a person, that they found attractive, if they would like to go out; very little information is known about the date and this can create a very tense atmosphere. Under these circumstances the person who did the asking often feels the most pressure to make the date a pleasant experience. To prepare for such a date it is often good to keep in mind that the person accepted, for whatever reason and that you have no need to undermine yourself by trying to determine why. Allow yourself to be open and attentive as the beginning of your date will be a learning experience and a chance to find out what the two of you have in common.

Appearance:

  • Casual: If you have an opportunity to find out what kind of social atmosphere you will be in during your date this can often be a good guideline for what to wear. What you wear and how you wear it, are very important details as this will say a great deal about what kind of person you are before you have had a chance to speak. While some people care little for clothing styles or labels, most people will notice if a person dresses in a striking manor: whether good or bad. Dressing in extremes is often a good way to make a statement, but not usually recommended unless you know exactly what kind of style your date will find pleasing. If you are uncertain about what to wear keeping your style in the formal-casual to casual range is a fairly safe bet. Remember that while under dressing might repulse your date, over dressing can make a person uncomfortable about their own appearance. If you have the opportunity to find out what style your date will be dressing in this can also be an excellent way to assure that you both feel good about your attire.

  • Formal: If you find that your first date will be in a more formal setting it is of the utmost importance that you dress to fit your surroundings. Often under these circumstances it will not be difficult to determine what kind of style is expected, though again, if you can speak with your date beforehand about dressing up, do so, as it will help you both be at ease. Remember that in a more formal setting there will be certain expectations about your mannerisms, as well as appearance: if you need to brush up on your more formal social skills make sure to allow yourself time before the date takes place.

  • Exotic: If attending a costume party or themed social gathering in which you will be expected to dress in a more exotic style be sure of exactly what style of clothing others will be wearing, (including your date.) Often women enjoy coordinating costumes with their partners for costume parties and as a bonus; this will let other potential suitors know that you are together and that they should take their intentions elsewhere.

What to Talk About:

  • Unknown Territory: Brushing up on your current events, especially local topics can help in the beginning of conversations in which you are uncertain of how to proceed. Remember to ask your date about their work; interests and life-goals as this will show that you have an interest in what makes them special. If you are particularly worried about the conversation, it can be helpful to take your date to a more socially active environment; dancing, concerts, movies or sporting events are good locations to keep your date amused without a great deal of pressure to engage in conversation. Don’t be discouraged if at first you find that you are each at a loss for words, many people feel nervous on their first date and it may take some time to feel comfortable. If after attending an event you feel better prepared for discussion, ask your date if they would like to go out for drinks or food so that you can recap on the day’s, or evening’s, events.

  • Newly Romantic: For those who have entered into the dating world with a person they have known for some time, but perhaps have only recently become romantically involved with, many of the same nervous moments can manifest themselves on a first date. Discussing topics that are familiar to both of you can be a wonderful way to melt the ice, but some find that this can steer feelings away from the romantic. Though in cases where you have known the person for some time it may be difficult to produce new aspects of your personality, try to show your date the side of yourself that they are less familiar with. Making this transition is often accompanied by uncomfortable bouts of silence and perhaps a few nervous giggles; try to keep in mind that most of the successful relationships amongst couples are built upon friendships and that despite a few bumps in the beginning most turn out well in the end.

  • From Online to In Person: Despite the many chats and emails, perhaps phone calls and web camera sessions, you may have shared meeting your date in person for the first time can still be just as scary as with more traditional methods of dating. You will more than likely have an abundance of subjects to choose from as you have already shared many conversations, but the atmosphere will be quite different and for this reason, a few adjustments might need to be made. Keep in mind any special details about past conversations you may have had, often people make references to ideas that they would like to experience in person, before that time takes place. Also remember that a great many people tend to be a bit more bold online, especially with sexual ideas, and that it might take a little time before either of you are ready to discuss those topics in person, let alone act upon them. In some cases people find that they feel comfortable right away; but for others who feel a little shy, now that there are no pixels between you and your date, just remember that you made a connection and that it is still present, even if a little time is needed for it to become apparent in person.

From blind dates, to old friends and from instant connection, to those that take more time; first dates tend to rattle most of those who experience them. Remember to keep calm; be confidant and know that the person on the other side of you is most likely experiencing the very same nervous feeling that you are. It may take some time to get to know your date before you feel comfortable, but in the end, whether the person is the right or wrong one, you will be laughing about your fears and concerns in the end.

To learn more about the first date jitters please check out the best online dating websites reviewed by VillageMatchMaker.com

Thursday, November 6, 2008

7 Signs of an Interested Woman

It is often difficult to know for sure when a woman is interested in more than just friendship and many people can easily confuse a sympathetic touch or word as a sign of something more. Making assumptions that lead to embarrassing situations can create insecurities that are not welcomed by most suitors. How then can a person tell when a woman is interested in them? It isn’t easy and certainly many women act in different ways to show outward signs of interest; to know for certain often requires taking that risky step and simply asking the lady out on a date; however there are a few signals that can often be interpreted as signs of interest. Though a person should never assume anything about a woman’s actions, these signals can help to eliminate any obvious signs of disinterest.

As with many things in life, knowing whether a woman is interested or not often amounts to playing percentages and can be ultimately a gamble. Though no one should ever allows themselves to feel too badly over rejection (it’s often got little to do with you personally,) assessing the risk before taking the plunge can prevent a great deal of heartache.

  • Touching: Just as there are many types of women, there are also many types of touches, with even more types of meanings. Too often is it assumed that when a woman touches a person she might find attractive that she IS in fact attracted; this is often not the case. Touch can mean a variety of different things including physical interest, but it can also simply be a sign of support or comfort. Knowing the difference between a comforting pat and a seductive caress is more often than not common sense, however in some cases people will look for any sign as permission to take action. Be careful to watch the rest of her body language, tone of voice and the nature of the conversation before jumping to any conclusions about touch.
    Chance of Interest: 50%
  • Looking: When you notice a woman looking at you, especially in a social situation, this can mean many different things. Perhaps you have something on your face, maybe something very interesting is happening…behind you, or it just might be that she does indeed like the look of you. Even if the last were true a person still cannot make assumptions about these looks being an invitation for action. On the other hand, if the look is accompanied by a smile and you are positive that it is intended for you, this could be a sign that she would like you to talk with her. Multiple looks can also be a very positive sign, though once again, you must be sure it is you she is looking at. Another problem with action based only on a look is that even of a woman finds you attractive it doesn’t mean she wants you to take any further action. This can be very confusing for many men as a vast majority of them often only look at women they would like a chance to get to know better. Often the solution to this problem is simply giving it a little time; multiple looks mixed with a smile might not be a certain invitation, but will often not result in harsh rejection as the woman will understand why you thought it acceptable to approach her. Use common sense and be careful not assume that a look means anything more than taking in her surroundings.
    Chance of Interest: 50% (Chance of Interest with Multiple Looks and/or smile: 80%)
  • Calling You: If a woman has taken the trouble to get your phone number, say from a friend or some other outside source that did not include your offering it to her this often indicates that she is interested in pursuing some type of relationship with you. What kind of relationship she is after is not always so easily determined; it is after all possible that she enjoys speaking with you, but has no interest in a romantic relationship. Often, if the latter is the case, the woman will flirt or flat out tell you of her feelings to avoid any confusion; in some cases though it would be expected for you to make the next move as she has already taken the first step by dialing your number. Unless expressly stated that she is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you it is often safe to assume she is and therefore taking the next step by inviting her out on a date would not only be wise but expected. If the woman who calls you is already in a relationship you must act very carefully; no one enjoys being the cause of a breakup, (at least not the psychologically stable,) but in many cases it is not the third party’s involvement that causes the problems so we will simply side step that issue. If the woman calling you is a relationship she might still be interested in you, however until she decides to end it, pursuing anything more than friendship would be unwise; in all likelihood one or both of you will get hurt. For a person looking only to have an affair a relationship of this kind might work for a while, but most result in one or both people becoming too attached and miserable: be cautious.
    Chance of Interest: 75%
  • Texting/IMing/Emailing: Though certainly emails can mean many different things the idea of these newer forms of communication is stay in contact with a person on a regular basis. Often people type in messages what they have difficulty saying over the phone or in person and for this reason one of these communication might very well mean the woman is interested in pursuing something more. Online dating offers these very forms in order to bring people together and with great success, but a good amount of common sense is still needed to interpret what exactly the messages mean. Often if this is a sign of interest it means that it is either; the woman’s only form of communication with you (i.e.: online dating or matchmaking,) in other cases there is a strong chance that the woman is shy. In many cases text and the emotional intent behind it can be misread, which is why many people use emoticons to help make their messages clear. Without being able to know for certain from the text, the only assumption that can be made is that the woman is interested in connecting with you; because of this there is a strong chance only of her wanting some type of relationship, though what kind is uncertain. If she uses icons or words that are especially flirty in nature the chances for romantic interest are increased, but still uncertain as many woman feel able to flirt more freely through text than they would face to face.
    Chance of Interest: 50% (Chance of Interest with Flirting Icons or Text: 85%)
  • Staying Close: If you happen to notice that a woman remains close to you at a social gathering; seems to always be in the same room or near the same activities, there is a very strong possibility (with some wiggle room for coincidence,) that she is interested and is attempting to get your attention without seeming to notice you. One way to determine whether or not she is for all intents and purposes, chasing you is to attempt to make solid eye contact. If this is accomplished and she is interested, it will often be accompanied by a smile; quick look away, or in some cases blushing. At this point if she continues to stay relatively close to you it is a pretty safe bet to take action and try to spark up a conversation. If you still need a safety net because you are not positive about her intentions you can always use a casual move to begin a conversation without being obvious: a slight bump into the woman and excusing yourself can begin a conversation or even a question about your location i.e. bathroom locations can help to kick start communication in awkward situations.
    Chance of Interest: 70% (Chance of Interest if eye contact yields smile or blush: 90%)
  • Imitation Infatuation: Though a bit more difficult to navigate and certainly more lengthy to discover a woman who takes an interest in anything that you enjoy, that she did not previously have an interest in, can be a sign that she would like to get to know you better. Certain similarities, (for example at a sporting event you are both cheering for the same team,) might not mean anything at all besides your already having something in common, but a direct change in behavior or interests that match your own can mean a great deal. This situation is not always apparent and may only be noticed by people that are close to her; often people are already in the same social circles before something like this can occur. If you notice this kind of behavior from a woman there is a slight chance she is trying to make herself more desirable for you, however don’t jump to any conclusions. If you are able to inquire tactfully, do so with any friends you may have in common and in some cases you might be able to use her new found interest in order to invite her out, (which is often the goal of this behavior.)
    Chance of Interest: 25% (Chance of Interest if change is unusual behavior: 80%)
  • Gifts: Once again, this kind of action usually only occurs within relationships that are already formed, though perhaps not yet romantic; however there are many small gifts that might not have a great monetary value, but can indicate a great deal. If a woman gives you a gift it can mean many things ranging from you were the first person she saw, (e.g. party favors) to she is very interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. Paying close attention to her body language when she gives you the gift can be an important sign as to what it means; if she smiles a great deal or is flushed it can mean that she is nervous because she is attracted to you; on the other hand if the gift is given in a dismissive way, little or no eye contact, you cannot confirm much interest at all.
    Chance of Interest: 10% (Chance of Interest if she acts nervous or flirty: 95%)
Knowing how to navigate the complicated actions of human behavior is difficult for most people and impossible for some. Always keep in mind that caution is a good way to avoid embarrassment, but that in order to precede a person must at times take risks.

To learn more about the signs a woman likes you please check out the best online dating websites reviewed by VillageMatchMaker.com

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Why is Online Dating Right for You?

Our society is still making up its' mind about online dating and many people find that they still have reservations about trying a new method of meeting people; especially one that is still looked at with skepticism. Looking at some of the most common misconceptions it is easy to understand why some people still have reservations about making use of this amazing process.

Common Perceptions of Online Dating: Only geeks; ugly people or those who can't get a date in real life would use this method; this is quite incorrect. Millions of successful, attractive and well liked people choose online dating because it is not only a more successful way of matching up people with common interests, but also because it is on the cutting edge of dating. Imagine eliminating months of conversations revolving around awkward getting to know you topics that in the end, may simply lead you to the discovery that this person is not right for you. This in itself is an excellent reason to explore online dating, but there are many more reasons why it might suit you well.

Forced Self Discovery: When you begin creating a profile for others to view you will most likely be asked many questions about who you are and what you like or dislike; this can be an excellent way to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses; essentially you have been given an opportunity to better know who you are. Understanding the traits which you posses that may have, in the past, caused problems in your relationships is a wonderful way to begin working on those parts of your life that you feel are undesirable. Many people find themselves trimming away character flaws and bad habits in real life so that they can be proud of their profiles without having to deceive; thus creating an online world full of potential partners who have already sized up their flaws and are working hard to eliminate them. Under normal circumstances these flaws might go unnoticed until deep into a relationship and by that point may simply cause a breakup. Creating a profile, in one easy step forces a person to really look at their life, though it might be difficult this is usually a productive way to begin looking for a match.

Hiding Behind the Truth: A little anonymity can make being open a little easier; though some may find that not being in person can be difficult to adjust to, many people find that they are able to open up about themselves with much greater ease and in a shorter period of time because they are simply chatting. For those who have difficulty talking openly at first this can be a life saver in the dating world, a way to share their life with others with out the fear of rejection that so often accompanies real life meetings. When one has hundreds of people to select candidates from, one feels far less inclined to be concerned with the opinions of the few; this can be an excellent tool in moving those who often feel insecure away from those doubts and into feeling confidant.

Worried About Lies: Many people shy away from online dating because they fear being deceived and while this is genuine concern for those trying to find a match it is not a concern exclusive to online dating. Remember that people can lie just as easily in person as they can online, perhaps not about physical features, but any other trait can be falsified by those who would wish to be so childish. One of the best aspects of online dating is that most sites host a community of people that enjoy helping each other through this experience; with this vast expansion of communication many people who enjoy deceiving others are often found out and discussed to warn others of their methods. Taking the time to do a little research about what kind of community you would like to be a part of is an essential first step in online dating; take a few moments to look at online dating reviews before deciding on the site that best suits your needs.

Now that we have a covered at least a few of your concerns it might be time to start thinking about your profile. Make sure to take the time to make this just right as many other people will be using what you write to determine whether or not they find you interesting. Many people feel concerned that they lack the skill to write a stunning profile and will suffer a poor image from it. In many cases help and advice are available on dating websites because they understand that it can be a difficult process. Enlisting the help of a friend to accurately describe you can be a good method when creating a profile, though you must be sure that your friend’s perception matches with your own.

Profile Tips:

  • Don't write down anything you wouldn't tell a stranger, remember anyone on the site can review what you write.

  • Never try to deceive your potential matches; in the end you'll either get a bad reputation or completely ruin your chances for a successful relationship later on; also many people can spot lies even in print.

  • Steer away from advertising your flaws; you ay feel compelled to list them so that you don't feel as if you are hiding something, but as with real life meetings, most people don't begin by shaking a hand and belching in a person's face. Try to focus on the traits you most like about yourself and keep the flaws minimal.

  • Humor, if you can manage it, is an excellent thing to include in a profile; this often helps others relax a little and have an overall good feeling about you which may cause them to get in touch.

  • List your interests, even if you feel a little shy about it, others will want to know what you enjoy doing with your time and even if you feel that no other person could possibly share your passion, you might be surprised.

  • Describe some of the most important qualities you hope to find in your match, getting too specific or unrealistic can be a huge turn off, but dismissing traits that you find essential can be just as much an error. Many people find it attractive when others are confidant in their desires and if they find themselves matching the description they might feel all the more special for it.

  • Get a good photo of yourself; one that accurately portrays your current age and style while still flattering your look. This can be used either immediately in many profiles, or later when you feel more comfortable.

  • Above all be true to yourself; this is the person others want a chance to know, don't cheat them out of the opportunity by trying to sound impressive.

After creating a profile you may be tempted to check your mail every five minutes, don't worry if it takes a while before you get a response, it doesn't mean that nobody finds you interesting. Eventually you will more than likely have several different people who attempt to contact you and this may become difficult as many people feel it necessary not exclude anyone who tries to get in touch. Don't worry about rejecting people that you do not find particularly interesting; most people expect a certain amount of this and are happy to receive a simply reply indicating that you don't believe your match to be a good fit. You too may find that some of the people you find interesting do not return your feelings; don't be disheartened by this, there are many people out there and it might just take time to find the right ones.

By this point you will probably feel a lot more comfortable with online dating; you will have formed a few new interests, hopefully discovered a few things about yourself and will be well on your way to finding a good match. At this point it might be a good idea to look at this method verses the more traditional methods of dating to weigh out the time and energy spent against your progress. This list might also be useful for those who are still feeling a little hesitant to try online dating:

  • Expense: Many people shy away from having to pay to date; they view it as some sort of failure on their own part; this could not be further from the truth. When you pay for an online dating service you are simply giving money to a service that has access to matching your profile to thousands, in some cases millions, of others seeking companionship. The system and expertise are being provided while you gain access to many people you would most likely never have had the opportunity to meet. Now taking this expense into account, think of the most common places that people go to in order to find a date, most of these are far from cheap. While some people seek out dates in community or religious events many still go out to clubs and bars hoping to meet others, this expense can be huge by the end of an evening and often with little or no reward. Though a one night stand might not be too difficult to find in this atmosphere too often feelings of regret or hazy memories follow for both men and women; expectations from other person are unclear because your night was not exactly well thought out and more often than not some one's feelings get hurt. The overall cost: much higher for your feelings and possible misunderstandings as well as your wallet.

  • Physical Attraction: While many of the most successful sites focus on relationships; there are also many that focus on fun and flirting. Many people are under the impression that through their computer they have no chance at having a sensual experience, this is also very untrue. Finding others who share your interest in physical communication is only a few clicks away and many people choose online dating to have a little fun during their busy lives because it gets directly to the point. This is also true for those seeking relationships; often physical attraction is greatly enhanced by how you feel about a person. Through online dating many people find that they are more attracted to their matches then they have ever been to people they meet and barely know simply because they are attracted to more than just the physical. While real life meetings might offer and immediate opportunity to act on these attractions, online dating often allows people with many different interests and goals a much more fulfilling experience.

  • Successful Relationships: If the ever increasing divorce rate in our society is any indication of how well things are going for couples today, we can clearly see that finding long-lasting love is in the decline. Why is this exactly? Perhaps because people are not aware of so many aspects of their own personalities; what they want out of a relationship and how to combine these two things into a successful match. Too often people jump into relationships without much thought to the future of it; many people remain focused on what they want a person to be, rather than what that person truly has to offer. Online dating forces some of these common mistakes to be dealt with before they destroy a relationship or cause so many problems that the relationship feels like more work than happiness. Perhaps not the fix all of human interaction, but certainly a step in the right direction and a good use of our current technology. By making use of this system a person can avoid wasting time with people that will truly not suit them and focus on those that seem to share their own interests and desires; weighing this against the chance of meeting such a match at a bar or community event makes it seem almost foolish not to try online dating when searching for a special person.
If this online dating guide has helped to remove some of the poor impressions about, or possibly peeked your interest in online dating perhaps now is good time to do a little research and get started creating your profile. On the other hand, if you still have doubts, perhaps creating a list of why you still feel online dating isn't right for you could be of some help. With the ever growing population of users it is only a matter of time before a person seeking companionship considers this method of dating; when it becomes your turn try to remember that whether seeking fun, or forever, it is practical and exciting to make use of any help available to you. In your adventures I wish you luck, success and as always, a great deal of happiness.

To find out Why is Online Dating Right for You please check out the best online dating websites reviewed by VillageMatchMaker.com